I’ve come to realise something quite profound over the past few days. When it comes to conflict between others, there are always two dynamics at play.
You may well be thinking, “Well, duh, that’s quite obvious,” but to me, it has actually become a revelation, and it’s helped me see people who may frustrate me in a different light.
I’ve mentioned before my challenges with cliques. The two perspectives are, firstly, (Perspective 1) my own, and secondly (Perspective 2), those of the individuals who exhibit clique-like behaviour.
I can’t control what others do (Perspective 2). That is the harsh reality of the situation. Sure, I could confront them and politely inform them of how their behaviour affects others, but ultimately, I am not in control of their reactions.
On the other hand, there is my perspective (Perspective 1). I can control that. I have a choice about how I feel. Yes, it’s easy to feel vulnerable and uncomfortable around some people—especially if they have hurt you in the past. But at the end of the day, I may not be seeing the full picture.
This is what it all boils down to. It’s all about perspective. Important questions I need to ask myself when I’m in difficult situations with people include:
- Am I seeing the full picture?
- What can I learn from my past interactions that can shape the future?
- Does anyone else feel the same way?
- Is there any way I can help and pray for them?
These questions apply mostly to my own circumstances, but feel free to reflect on them as well.